Paris Was My Paramour and Other Lost Diaries
by Lawrence Millman
with illustrations by Steffen Pierce
The 11th book by celebrated travel writer Lawrence Millman is a departure from his usual explorations of the exotic and far-flung regions of the planet. This is as act of sheer fantasy and outrageous humor that recalls Mark Twain. It is truly one of the funniest books you will ever read.
Ever wonder how God occupied Himself during His last days in power? or why famous explorers occasionally have to eat each other? Or what happened when Dan Quayle was appointed White House chef? You’ll find the answers to these questions—and many more you never dared to ask—in these “recently discovered” diaries:
Very Bleak Indeed: An Explorer’s Journal • Pages from a Hollywood Diary • Into Vapid Air: An Everest Diary • Bad News: Job’s Diary • Paris was my Paramour: A Lost Generation Journal • The Secret Diary of Attila the Hun • The Multi-Million Dollar Storm: A Hurricane Diary • Jottings from a Publisher’s Journal • From a President’s Diary • Leaves from God’s Diary
Lawrence Millman has made a beautiful spaceship in Paris Was My Paramour, good enough to take your average pedestrian to the far reaches of the imagination. I know, because I just loaded fifteen students in his sparkling cabins and they all came back looking dishevelled. I can think only of Raymond Queneau's Exercises of Style and Maureen Owen's The No-Travel Journals, as craft equivalents.
—Andrei Codrescu
"A wonderful writer. . ."
—Paul Theroux
"Millman's a genius!"
—Annie Dillard
About the Author
is the author of ten other books, including Our Like Will Not Be There Again, Last Places, An Evening Among Headhunters, and Northern Latitudes. He has written for The Atlantic Monthly, Smithsonian, and National Geographic. His travels to far-flung places make it likely that he will find still more lost diaries in the future.
Some Excerpts from Chapter 9:
From a President's Diary
Note: Lawrence Millman wrote "From a President's Diary" in 1999.
October 1. Day of rest. Bombed Outer Mongolia. Sent marines into Labrador. Annexed Guatemala. Imposed economic sanctions on, oh hell, I forget—maybe Bali?
...
October 5. Recalled marines from Labrador. My booboo. Had intended to send them to El Salvador. Cabled apologies to Ottawa and offered to send in clean-up crew.
October 7. Declared war on poverty. Literacy, too. Good news from El Salvador: our fighting marines seem to have destroyed it. Watched Lethal Weapon 5 on the tube.
October 10. Trouble in Togo. Looked it up on a map. Seems to be in Africa. We don’t own it. The question is, why? Gala prayer session with the Supreme Court. Screened 101 Dalmations for Pinochet and Boutras Boutras-Ghali.
...
October 17. Fund raiser for Klaus Barbie. Good ol’ Klaus. He had us in stitches with his Groucho imitations. Gave Ollie North the First Annual Gary Gilmore Humanitarian Award at a gala White House dinner.
...
November 24. Signed a landmark bill that would ban anyone with an IQ over 75 (or, in extreme cases, 80) from seeking public office. Viv and Idi Amin dropped by for lotto. Cheated. Won.
...
100 pp, Paperback
ISBN 0-9760896-3-7 / Price $9.95
13 Illustrations
